I am sure we all know someone who is bitter and if we are discerning, we can see the nasty side effects of unforgiveness...it is ugly, it is nasty, it is complicated.
As I was reading this evening, I was tremendously blessed and felt the strong desire to share...
Luke 17:4
If he sins against you seven times a day, and comes back to you seven times saying, "I repent," you must forgive him.
Say what, Jesus? Really?!? Doesn't that mean I am getting 'walked over', 'taken advantage of', doesn't that make me 'Stupid?' I mean how times am I really supposed to keep forgiving somebody for doing the same stuff everyday?
That was my rationale, and I am certain that I don't stand alone on this one. However, the word of God is VERY clear; as many times as your brother, sister, husband, wife, friend comes back and repents, you must forgive him. It is what we are commanded to do......So when I look at this from the viewpoint of someone continually offending me, I am not really 'feeling' this verse. It is so contrary to how I was raised, so contrary to how I perceive myself, because you know I am not letting anybody walk all over me and mistreat me....My, my, my how God grows us. Today, I looked at this verse with a renewed mind, I stopped making it about myself and made it about others. Case in point....The Lord has truly blessed me with an amazing, wonderful, kind, and loving husband. He is all those things, but he is not perfect, and neither am I. Some days I wonder how he even deals with me, but he is always so patient, always so gentle, and he always forgives me. Our relationship is not perfect, but I will say God has blessed us to know how to communicate effectively and the most vital part to our effective communication is forgiveness. My husband forgives me for something almost everyday it seems like... sometimes, I get upset with myself because I keep doing things that I have to apologize for, like being snappy, being impatient, being judgmental, the list could go on....(Disclaimer: God is still working on me, I am a Masterpiece in Progress) I never intentionally mean to snap at him or be critical, seriously, I am trying to win "Wife of the Year"...apparently I have a long way to go. But every single time I have asked for forgiveness, he just forgives me, and it happens immediately... not with a lecture, not with contingencies, he just forgives me. I am so thankful and so grateful. God has used Derrick to show me firsthand how he wants us to forgive. He wants us to forgive with love, without restrictions, without harboring a grudge. I have seen firsthand what unforgiveness looks like... it looks like married people not talking to each other, walking on eggshells, shouting and screaming, unhappiness, lack of joy.....it looks totally unlike what God designed.
So how many times do I have to forgive someone, as many times as they come back and repent. I can't dispute the word. I know some who may read this may be in difficult relationships and I am not saying that people who mistreat you should get away with anything, but it is not our job to make them pay, the Lord is our vindicator. Our job is to forgive and leave the rest up to God. He will act on our behalf and in our best interests.
So now, when I am at a bridal shower and someone asks me, what is the key to a happy marriage? I will boldly say to them with 100% confidence, "Keeping God first and always being willing to forgive."
