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| Me and J - 2015 |
Fourteen years ago, I was 20. In college, a sophomore, majoring in
Computer Engineering with a 4.0 grade average. By the world’s standards, I had
a bright future. I had a lot going for me because I was smart. I strived so
hard to do my best in school, because it was my way out, my way of freedom….then,
I found myself pregnant, at twenty. Barely out of my teens. Talk about
devastation, talk about disappointment. My life, all the things I dreamed of,
all the things I was striving for, gone…with three simple words…”I’m pregnant.”
For most, those words bring joy, but for me, at that time in my life, it
brought fear. How am I going to tell my parents, how am I going to finish
school, what am I going to do? Pregnant, unmarried, barely educated, check. And all that equated to was: failure, all that
equated to was: STUPID….I felt like a stupid failure L But, I pressed on through the
pregnancy, vowing to never be a statistic: poor, black, and uneducated. I
pressed on….and 14 years ago, on this day, I gave birth to my only son, Jalen.
He was so precious, so small. I barely had time to enjoy him because finals were
quickly approaching and I was determined to finish my classes that semester.
And I did, all 21 credit hours, with a 3.5 GPA. My life was messy, so much unnecessary
drama, but I focused on mainly two things, taking care of Jalen and finishing
school. God graced me with an easy going baby, he was never sick, hardly ever
fussy….and he graced me with provision. I never struggled as a single mom, I
must say I never struggled financially speaking. So I was able to finish school,
all while caring for my own child, in my own place. My mantra was “It’s me and
J against the world.” I loved God, I prayed, but I wasn’t walking with him and
I was stuck in a very unhealthy relationship because I thought I had to ‘for
Jalen.’ But God set me free, hallelujah, he set me free. Most of the drama
diminished, praise the Lord, and for the next 6 years, it was me and Jalen… No
longer just us against the world though, because I truly recognized and
acknowledged how God was on my side all along. So now, my baby boy just turned 14 years old
today. I sit and I reflect and I must say I never imagined the joy, the pride,
the love, the grace; I never imagined how God could turn my story from 14 years
ago into something so beautiful. My son is one of the greatest gifts I have
ever received. The news I first thought would ruin my life has given me life,
and God has blessed me abundantly. Jalen is awesome! He is favored by many, he
is smart, he is kind, he is loving, he loves life, he is super talented, he
loves God, his smile brightens my day, and he is my picture of God’s redemption
and grace and hope. I have many dreams for him. I want to see him graduate high
school, get married, have children, serve the Lord with all his heart, mind,
soul, and strength. I want to see those things desperately, but I could tell
you without a shadow of a doubt, if I never get to see those things, God has
blessed me beyond my wildest dreams with the last 14 years and for that I am
forever grateful! He has taken me from ruin to overflow!!! How great is my God!
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| 13 years ago |
There is so much more, I could likely type a whole book with details. The road has not been easy, but it has been blessed. God even saw fit to bless me with a wonderful husband who loves me and my baby boy unconditionally....once again, I never even imagined...
~Until Next Time~
The thing Jalen has taught me most.....
ENJOY YOUR BLESSINGS!!
